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Monday, May 21, 2007

Got me through college

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This film actually and truly garnered me a BFA from the Savannah College of Art and Design in Animation. The following was my actual proposal.

Film Proposal. At best.

A banana begins to scoot across a kitchen counter, my kitchen counter. At some point it catches on fire. It burns for a while and then begins scooting once again. Then the drawers and cabinets fly open. Knives come out and dangle in the air. Banana stops. Everything returns to normal. Banana moves again. The End.

Most of the film will be rotoscoped. The portions where the least amount of action is happening will be the most labor intensive. Sections with lots of action will be simple or simply source video footage. I want the maximal amount of production for the least amount of product.

It will be one take, one shot. The action will be controlled by strings. It will probably be about a minute in length, but depending on how I’m feeling, it could be anywhere up to 15.

The sound will be that of waves gently rolling in. When the banana catches on fire there will be one sound of a seagull. That is all.

The film will be titled: “A Banana Begins to Scoot Across the Counter. At Some Point It Catches On Fire. Drawers and Cabinets Open Up and Things Come Out of Them. Parts of It are Rotoscoped.” Either that or: “Douglas Kinsey, Resulting in The Great Confusion.” But it wont be called that.

The why is because this is no less pointless than anything else being made. I happen to find it much more hilarious than any scenario I could devise involving any combination of characters involved in humorous menial sturggle. As long as large video game studios are producing games like “Uber Soldier” for thousands of dollars, where you assume the role of a resurrected Nazi super-soldier zombie, fighting with the French Resistance; and movie studios are financing “Jurassic Park 4” in which dinosaurs are crossed with humans, as well as robotic components, which costs millions of dollars. I see no shame in producing the dumbest, least entertaining, least interesting, least funny (except to me) film for absolutely no cost. In that regard I’m clearly the victor. It costs me nothing to not accomplish anything …thereby accomplishing something. Thus we go on and on ad nauseum.

My apologies. I recognize that I am misplaced. It is not my intent to be any more of a pain in the ass than necessary. I merely wish to be left to my own devices, and make these stupid, esoteric films. Oh yes, and graduate college will a BFA in Animation.

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